Letters to Kenley

In a post a couple of weeks ago I had mentioned that I was going to write a note to Kenley every day in her last month before she turns one... and publish it here. And I am sticking to my word. Todays is her 11 month birthday.

On Thursday afternoon my computer crashed. So I ended up having to buy a new one the very next day. My new computer will be heading back to Napa with my mom on Tuesday (she is visiting right now) so that the NPI dictation program that I work in can get put on it. However, I will blog from my phone and/or Gavins computer to make this happen!

I CANNOT believe it has almost been a year since our little girl was born & what a year it has been.


Letter # 1 "My Kidney Bean"

Sometimes I sit and wonder about how I will tell you about how you came to be. It's so complex, baby girl and I'm not even sure I'm qualified to explain. How will I tell you about how young we were? and how green in the ways of the world? How will I tell you about how at first we weren't convinced we could handle this? I don't have the words yet but maybe someday I will. I'm still just making all of this up as I go... so thanks for being so flexible.
You had been in my belly for ten weeks when I saw you for the first time. "See that flicker?" the nurse said. "thats her little heart beat." She told me you were about the size of a kidney bean. I knew right then and there that you were mine, and no one elses. Even if I couldn't give you the world that you deserved, I knew my love would be enough.
When I think back on the first couple months of my pregnancy, the first thing that comes to mind is how I could smell EVERYTHING! I assosiate my memory of all the smells with certain "situations" that came about in those first weeks/months. It was Halloween when we sat down with both sets of your grandparents to discuss a "game-plan," I remember the smell of burning pumpkin as I sat on the couch next to your daddy as we talked, cried, and even laughed with Grandy, GMa Patty, Papa and Granny... we knew everything was going to be OK. I remember the sterile smell of the ER a couple weeks after that when I spent the night in the hospital (after getting e.Coli poisoning) and being so scared I was going to lose you. It was that night that I realized I couldnt live without you. I distinctly remeber the smell of the cinnamon air freshner at Replay Sports (where I was working) when I called Angel Adoption Agency to tell them they need not send me their paper work anymore. "I'm so sorry, so so sorry... I can't live without her."
I hope you dont hold my honesty against me baby girl, I want you to know I only ever wanted the best for you. I may not be perfect but I know that I am what's best for you, that YOU are what's best for me, and that God has blessed us with each other.
Those first months and weeks were some of the hardest, yet looking back on them I miss it! I look at your little face now and can't believe that anyone every made a fuss... like you were always supposed to be here and that anything else simply wouldnt be our life.

I love you, Mama

the world didnt end... but baseball season did.

so yeah, in other words the world ended.

jusssst kidding!

Gavin had his last home series this weekend :( The season FLEW by... and I cant believe we have almost already finished out our first school year down here. As many of you know we have come to the recent desicion to keep our little family located in Riverside for the summer. Gavin is taking TWELVE units of  summer school and I will basically be working full time between NPI and Kissui. Gavin will also be playing for a summer team out of Orange County... the OC Pioneers. Sounds like we wont be having much of a "summer" afterall.
Fun weekends have been pretty few and far between, but this last one was definitely a good one. Gavin played UC Irvine at home. On Saturday Kenley and I went to San Diego for my dear friend Alexa's graduation from SDSU. While we didnt go to the actually ceremony we joined in for dinner with everyone in Old Town San Diego.... have you been there???!!!??? I am totally dragging Gavin back at some point this summer! It is so fun! Did you know that San Diego is the oldest city in California? I didnt either until this weekend, but it makes sense... I mean when you are in Old Town you are practically on the border. You really do feel like you are in Mexico! We went to this awesome little Cantina with a live mariachi (sp?) band.
Sunday Gavin had his very last home game and it was senior day. I made it a point to take lots of pictures... especially with everyone that Kenley and I have been hanging with all season. I will miss being at the ball feild with all of them..... but... they have talked me into having a little party for Kenley's first down here as well, so it looks like she will be having a little Riverside party as well!
Speaking of the birthday girl... I would LOVE to share details about her party in Napa and things I have planned but then it wouldnt be fun! Lets just say that im really looking foward to it :)
Ok sooo.... I cant quite remember the last time I worked seven days in a row but between Kissui and NPI this past week, I HAVE. It feels good to be so busy but man oh man am I tired. Not to mention my MAIN job of Kenley duties.
....... and duty calls :)

happy tuesday bloggers.
jess

may showers?

I shouldnt act surprised... I saw that rain was in the forecast for the desert this week but, really? Of course the one day my job requires to be outside it would rain! And of course every.single.one. of our towels is hanging out on the laudry line... I just used one of Kenley's haha.
One plus? It always smells SOOO good out when it rains here... like unreasonably good. I think it might be a combo of the smells from the botatic gardens and the citrus orchards across the street, its a very fresh floral scent... I wish I could bottle some up and post it right here ----> _________ .
Its been a relaxing morning, picking up the house, Mumford & Sons on Pandora (Im officially obsessed with them right now), had my tea, did dishes...
Meanwhile Kenley was playing in her crib, looking through her "First 100 Animals" book. (Everytime she turns the page she yells at it, trying to make the animal noises... because when I show it to her I do all the noises... ex: "the piggy says 'oink oink!!!' " haha) Anyway it got really quiet in her room and when I went to check on her she was asleep ON TOP of her little lamb. We both had a rough night sleep and im not shocked she is already back asleep. At around 2 am she was up for the second time, I still hadnt slept and so I took her in the spare bedroom and we cuddled all night in the twin bed :)

PS!... The "birthday theme" is in honor of Kenley's first birthday and will be until after she is offically ONE! ... Also, starting Kenley's 12th month (May 29) I am going to be writing her a note every day and posting it here, everyday will be a memory or thought about her first year :)

Kissui Craft Fair

Tomorrow Kenley and are going to be putting some miles on the BOB stroller and cruising downtown Redlands to promote the CRAFT FAIR thats happening at Kissui on June 4th. I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS!! I promise to take tons of pics!!

shake your HAIR feather!

If you dont know what a hair feather is, well... its pretty much exactly what it sounds like, and seems to be popping up everywhere. Its basically a real feather, put in the hair with a little clamp bead. You wash it, curl it, straighten it... all like real hair! I am totally addicted and think they are so fun! I got my first one a couple months ago at a salon in San Diego and have added to it since then. The adorable salon next door to Kissui does them too and the girls that work there are always letting me know when they are getting new feathers in. I added a couple feathers yesterday and wanted to share! I have gone with a "natural" hue... but I think the birght bold colors are super cute too, just not sure I could pull them off! I pulled my hair back in the picture so that you can see them better but I usually just wear my hair all down with them so its more of a "peek-a-boo" effect.
When taking the picture of them for the blog I figured I would include my newest DYI project that is hanging above our couch!
I have had the hardest time deciding what to hang up there and I actaully saw THIS idea on a blog... all it is is framed SCRAPBOOK paper. I made the frames too :)

flip!

FLIP! you know?? FLIP!

My favorite cloth diaper to date!

I have tried Thirsties, Bumgenius, Grovia, Rumperoo & have landed on a favorite... FLIP!

If you havent tried them... you must. They are bulletproof! ...... not to mention, they have left no marks on my chunky thighed baby, we havent had a leak, she is rash free, they wash up well and plus I have decided that I am DONE with pocket-style diapers... I am so partial to being able to put a clean liner into a FLIP cover and call it a day. They are the same idea as Thirsties... just BETTER. by better I mean better quality. (plus im also done using velcro)

It feels good to find something you love, that works.

blog worthy sweet & tangy chicken...

This recipe is too easy and to delicious not to post. I am trying to cook more (part of our saving all the $ we can plan) and plus its just better! Kenley is starting to eat whatever we are eating so knowing where her food is coming from is huge bonus for me too. She is my little gourmet eater... it blows me away the things she will eat... and "asks" for MORE of.
So I did this recipie with brown rice instead of white, lean chicken breasts and Gavin asked for it over rice pilaf (which sounds like a gross combo but actually was not bad at all!)
if you make it... let me know what you think!
ENJOYhttp://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Sweet-and-Tangy-Chicken

baby wearing

http://www.shopkissui.com/

http://www.babyhawk.com/

I am obsessed with the Baby Hawk. While I still cant call one my own, I have been using th sample at work and I am simply in love. Of all the carriers I own, the Baby Hawk has proven to be mine (and Kenley's) favorite. The Baby Hawk can be worn on the front AND back, less structured and bulky than an ergo, yet less complicated, hot and keeps its shape MUCH better than a moby. I know I have some new moms-to-be following so I am posting a link to their page... and also to Kissui! I still havent done that and have been meaning to. She only posts a SMALL fraction of items to the site but ships any item from the store as desired.
Baby wearing is so near and dear to my heart! I started doing my research long before Kenley arrived and still research and keep my hand in it to this day. I love talking to new mom's about it that come in to the store, showing them and demonstrating our different carries (baby k'tan, moby, ergo, baby hawk, maya and peanut shell) and seeing which ones they like... everyone is different, so its really fun to experiement! There are so many benefits to baby wearing... I attribute Kenley's "calmness" to being worn the majority of her 11 months!

initiation...

is it weird that it took me like 5 tries to spell the word "initiation" correctly? what a weird word... anyway...
this post is about my initiation into motherhood today after I walked out of the bathroom and into the living room to see Kenley in a pile of little turds... EATING THEM!!!
yes I cried, yes I cursed and yes... I threw up. My intentions were good as I left Kenley diaperless while I blowdried my hair.(she has a little diaper rash so I was letting her air out) I knew she would pull herself up on the coffee table and I figured the worst she would do was pee and I would just wipe it up! We have lynoleum floors so its just NOT a big deal if she does. but NOPE... in the whole FIVE minutes it took me to do my hair... she had pooped and began eating it. I quickly picked her up, ran to the sink and started rinsing her mouth out, and then threw up myself.
can you say DISGUSTING????? ughhhhh!!! I would totally be ok if that never happened again...
needless to say I had to jump on the computer and see what the worst possible outcome of this would be and of course we ended up being very late to the birthday party we were supposed to go to this morning...
:::sighhhh::::: I cant help but laugh about it now, but it was NOT funny at the time!!
The rest of the day ended up being great and work was SUPER busy.
Off to transcribe for the rest of the night so that I can go to Gavins game in Northridge tomorrow :)

sorry I'm not sorry...

I'm only kidding... kind of! I would be more apologetic about not keeping up with my blog if there were even ONE more hour in the day. Now that I am spending more time on the computer MAYBE I can promise you a blog update once a week, but not making any promises since I tried promising more posts before. Once baseball season started and I started working two jobs... things have gotten a wee bit crazy and I am just along for the ride. So thanks for bearing with us!! (seeing how my last post was MONTHS ago)...
So much has changed/happened since my last post... where do I even begin??
Lets start with what comes to mind first!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE my new job. I dont know what else to call it other than a complete miracle. I have been there for about 2 months now and literally LOVING every second of it.
A little background about how my job came to be??................ To be quite honest, I thought that our "hardest" months down here were when we first moved in. However, that ended up not being the truth. After we came back down south after almost a month at home (during Christmas), I was really struggling with being back down here. I had gotten way to used to the idea of having friends and family around... heck, I was just enjoying the human interaction. Needless to say, the months of January and February proved to be some dark days! I was super lonely and bummed out with little incentive to do anything about it. It must have been one day the first week of March that I was flipping through the Inland Empire Family magazine and saw an article on "Kissui of Redlands: Voted Best Childrens Boutique in the Inland Empire." I was enthrawled with this magical place and simply had to see it for myself! Kenley and I made the drive one afternoon and cant seem to stay away. It was our second visit there that I had been making small talk with Jill (the owners bff) when she told me that I should really try and work there and that I COULD BRING KENLEY!!!!!!!!!
ummmmmm yes please!!!!!!! I jumped right on it, emailed the owner and was working there a week later.

Working at Kissui has literally changed everything about living down here for me. It has given me something to look foward to, a reason to get out of my pjs and into cute clothes and something fun to do with Kenley (not to mention that i am selling the crap out of this stuff!! not to toot my own horn but TOOT TOOT!!)...

AND Kenley loves it as much as I do, maybe more! (prob because of everyone constantly obssessing over her haha) You wouldnt believe the reactions she gets in there. Everyone is always commenting on how good she is and cant believe she just hangs out with me like she does!
If there is one customers reaction to her that I will probably never forget it was this woman that came in with her pregnant friend a couple of weeks ago... literally... "OOOO MYYYYY WORRRRRDDDD... is she real??!!!???!!!... No im serious, she looks fake... like a doll or something. thats literally the most beautiful human being I have ever seen. Can I take her picture???......" I mean, this lady went on and on.... it was borderline embarrassing.... and the best part was her pregnant friend that she was there with to register that was getting super annoyed like "hello??? we are here for me and MY baby???" I could sense her vibe so I did the default "haha thanks!" picked up Kenley and found something else to do on the other side of the store. Really though, I have had some funny reactions to Kenley but that lady for sure took the cake. She was even better than the grandma at storytime and the guy at Target (did I blog about them? I dont remember.... both really funny though)...
ANYWAY! back to my job! seriously?? I am getting paid to do cloth diaper and baby wearing demonstrations?? while I am pretty tired of hearing my own voice by the end of the day, I really cant think of something I would rather be doing. Laura carries AMAZING merchandise and literally NOTHING just sits on the shelf. Lets just say she does CRAZY good numbers there.... and by crazy good, I dont just mean crazy good in a bad economy.... time flies because of how busy it stays, just the way I like it :)
I have met some super fun girls while working there too!!!..... which i sometimes forget was one of the main reasons why I was so excited about it in the first place. I have joined a group out of Redlands callled "Barefoot Mamas" that does a lot of promoting through Kissui... basically a group of rad moms who are all about natural parenting... who are cloth diapering, sling wearing, line drying, hippy dippying mamas like myself!! Can we just move to Redlands please???? while it is only an 18 minute drive door to door, I prefer it to Riverside X 1,000,000,000....
SO! when I said that I had two jobs I meant it!.... and thats a new development, like as-of-this-week... so "thanks Jessica for so quickly updating us on your new job!"...."why you are welcome blog followers!" haha
once the rest of the house calls it a night I sit behind this here computer screen and transcribe medical records for a practice out of Napa believe it or not! I am so happy to say that I am officially putting my hard earned transcription knowledge to work.... thanks to my fantastic fellow work-at-home-mama-friend Makayla "soon to be" Branco :))))) The two jobs should be a busy yet hopefully lucrative balance of my time.... and i WILL keep you posted on how it goes with both.
Im just trying to work hard while Gavin does the same..... to be super cheesy, he really does inspire me to work harder. He is so driven, always trying to improve and cares so much about the well-being of this little family. School, baseball and family have left him without a single moment to catch his breath and he has yet to complain., even after having a season of not as much pitching as he would have liked. While their team still has about 15 games left, it isnt looking like they will make playoffs. Gavin has kept his head up the whole season while watching inning after inning be given to older and more experienced players in the program.... and i think that I have complained about it more than he has. His positivity is a forced to be reckoned with... so the Highlanders of 2012 should be on the lookout ;)
so... OF COURSE... how would it be a "Kenley Makes Three" post without a Kenley update.
But before that, let me just say what a over-the-top first mothers day I had. My house is still full of fresh flowers, adorable cards etc. My friends and fam were so good to me, even from 500 miles away... and my new friends here were great to me as well. On actual Mothers Day... Gavin had a game. before the game, all the moms (of the players) came on the field and stood next to their son during the national anthem and their son gave them one red rose. and you better believe yours truly got dragged down there as well.... i was so against it!!!! I protested until the very last second when all of the moms MADE me come down there with them.... they kept reminding me "youre a mom too!!!!!! AND its your first mothers day, even more reason!"
I was glad I did it after all was said and done and we got some cute pictures out of it :) all in all it was a great day.... I am just so thankful I know so many great mamas... ones who I am constantly going to advice to, ones who never come off judgy or know-it-all, ones who dont care how young or old I am and realize we are all just trying to do our best at the end of the day and mostly the ones who have taught me so much with saying very little at all :) celebrating mothers day as a mother was a little sureal and I was definitely missing my own mama!
with that said!!!!!.......
 can you believe it.......CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?  
 our baby girl will be ONE in a month and a half. typing those words make it seem that much more real, but i still cant wrap my mind around it. She is just "something else" for a lack of a better description haha... it brings a goofy smile to my face when I even think about where to start about all the hilarious and amazing she is starting to do. Even in these past couple of weeks I have seen a real change in her.... and I dont just mean looks.
Since I blogged last... Kenley has 8 teeth, knows where her feet, eyes and nose are.... does the signs for more, all done, mama, daddy, bye bye, "dont like", "like", no, yes, and dog.... she does a "mean face" on command, lets seeeeee.... her hair is getting SUPER long and thick (still a sandy blonde, but I predict this is going to be pretty toe head by the end of the summer)... my guess is that she will be walking in the next month because she has just started walking along all of our furniture, and actually put a nice gash in her upper lip yesterday after pulling herself up on the coffee table :( ..... she eats like no bodys business, she dances every time she hears music (probably the funniest thing she does and now that i think about it i really need to try and capture a video of that) she holds the remote up to her ear like its a phone and starts babbling into it hahah!!!.......... AND she has completely stolen the hearts of all of the players moms at gavins games.

and on that note, to end my post.... we have had SO much fun this season at Gavins games. win or lose... they are the highlight of my weeks. we sit in the same spot (right above home plate) with the same group of parents and players girlfriends every.single.game.  I would guess that there is about 20-25 of us that make it a point to sit together every game.... and we just have a blast. Kenley gets passed around the whole game and I literally dont see her until we are ready to leave. haha not kidding! If Kissui has been the turning point of our move down here, then the AMAZING friends that I have made this ball season are the icing on the cake. I simply love them!
Where there is baseball, there are friendly, helpful, funny, kind people willing to take-in a young mama and her tater tot :)
Goodnight bloggers... until we meet again!!