in this together...

More than once, and I feel more frequentlly, I have gotten the question, "why do you blog?"

Before these past couple of weeks, my answer would have been along the lines of... "its a way for me to jot down memories, keep track of things Kenley is doing while keeping our friends and family at home updated."

Our family has been put to the test recently and some might critize me for sharing the following but I have a new reason to add to my list of why I blog.

You know when you think you have someone completely figured out?... even a complete stranger? Im guilty of this myself but Ive had a recent revelation about my quickness to judge. In summary, you NEVER know what is going on in someones life... so give the crabby bank-teller a break and let the person who flipped you off on the freeway feel like they got away with something.

In the last two weeks, I have been a crankier, more irritable, tired, short-fused version of myself. I have heard myself say things and thought... "really Jess?!? that must be the exhaustion talking." All in all, Ive been a real peach... which I feel terrible about. The stress of our finances have officially gotten the best of me.

To give you a little background on the situation at hand... our Cal-Grant is usually in charge of our rent but for whatever reason decided not to cover the month of August. Long story short... we were expected to live off of $1,200 for the entire summer which did not include rent (which it usually does). Thats basically $600 for a family for three for THREE MONTHS. While we should have set the rent money aside to begin with, that would have put us at trying to budget HALF of that for the past two months. I dont know on what planet that is possible????

Anyway... rent is due tomorrow and after paying the months bills, we have literally SCRAMBLED to get this money togther. Needless to say I have been working NON-STOP to make this happen, pulling all nighters and trying to get as much work on my billing sheet which was due on the 10th. It truly has put things into perspective for me and for that, Im thankful.

So this is the part of the whole scenario that I feel so proud to share....

After continually bugging my dear friend Makayla to send me more transcription work... I had to explain to her the situation and that all the work that she could send me would be MUCH appreciated. I half-jokingly told her about how that night I had a cupcake and a cucumber for dinner since we literally had no food in the house and the nurtrious food we DID have was obviously going to Kenley. In the background, Makayla heard Gavin say, "what?!? you ate the whole cucumber?!?" ......HAHAHA!!!!  We had such a good laugh over that one.
so... that very night, Makayla (WHO IS ON HER HONEYMOON IN HAWAII!!!!) sat down at her computer with her new husband and together they ordered us groceries and had them sent to us from Vons the next morning.
I was working from home when I saw a Vons truck pull up and saw a gentlemen walking TEN bags of groceries up to my front door. I lost it.
He must have thought I was a complete fool, crying over groceries. "my friend who is on her HONEYMOON sent these to me!".... He just nodded like I was a complete nut haha!!
I still cant believe she did that for us. Ive had a really hard time asking for help since we have been on our own. Its similar instances that make me realize that we will never be truly alone in this. Amazing friends, I have. AMAZING!!!!

So I sit here...  realizing all the things I have and yet how quickly they can be taken away. which I was quickly reminded of this week when I THOUGHT I was getting some type of break, to no avail. but guess what else?? "no one OWES you anything." and aint-that-the-truth! Im not the best at asking for help, and maybe to a fault but lets just call it being very "determined."

But you want to know the best part of it all... and a reason to check the attitude at the door?? we CHOSE this, and its up to US (and only us) to make it work. Gavin has been given the opportunity to finish school and keeping in mind that these tough days will benifit us in the end, makes the struggle right now worth while.

Continually being humbled,
Jess