in with the old... in with the new

Just wanted to do a quick post and wish the Highlanders good luck this season. Baseball season makes for a crazy time in the Mills household but we do love it.

Gavins family is making their way down hwy 5 as we speak to make it here for the first game of the double header vs BYU.  So excited to have them here for the weekend!

I also have been meaning to share this picture....

This was probably my favorite image that came out of our shoot with Caitlin. This dress that Kenley is wearing started as a plain white dress from Old Navy that my mom embelished with little pink knots on the top and sewed an old tea towel of my great-grandmothers on the front to look like an apron. We saw a similar dress in a boutique in St. Helena but had to try and re-create it ourselves for about one fifteenth of the cost! I love using old things to create new ones... and the fact that Kenley is wearing an heirloom from her GREAT great grandmother!

some people read books, I read blogs.

I dont always have time to read the blogs I follow but when I do I think of it as the time that most people would spend reading a book.

I came across my favorite blog shortly after I had Kenley and have found my other favorites as a result of reading "Dear Baby."

Usually after a night of reading, I get inspired to stay up on mine better.

Something that all of these blogs have in common is that they are all ran by young moms such as myself. Most of them are on the eco-friendly, crunchy, hippy side... such as myself.

Here are my top five:

1.  Dear Baby
2. Oh Dear Drea
3. boho baby bump
4. my little loves
5. Baby Makes Two

check em out :)

"you're still very loveable" - bon iver

Im cuddled up in sweats after a long morning and afternoon at work. Kenley and I got soaked from head to toe as we were leaving work! Loving the rain :)

I figured I probably shouldnt do a post like the last one without giving an update.

First I just want to thank everyone for all of the love and support from a distance. I keep saying the hardest part has been not having anyone down here but as I expected, my friends and family have been amazing and Im not sure I could feel anymore love than I do already! Thank you everyone for all of your words of positivity and encouragement.

As I mentioned in my last post, I had my appointment with the endocrinologist on Friday. I think it went as well as it could have. I was extremly nervous and anxious as you can imagine. Gavin ended up flying home the morning of my appointment for his test so he was not able to come. He was really dissapointed that his flight ended up being so early but it was $100 cheaper for him to fly out of LAX instead of the Ontario airport by us. So Kenley and I dropped him off Friday morning and picked up Sarah on our way home... it ended up being perfect timing. The three of us got back here and took a much needed nap and then my friend Kaley ended up going to my appointment with me while Sarah watched Kenley (and got to spend some quality time with her Goddaughter).

I ended up seeing the doctor an entire hour later than my appointment was scheduled for which I guess was expected but just made the anxiety build.
The nurse came in with my file shortly before the doctor did and right away I asked to see the results of my lab work that I had done four days before that got directly sent to them.
I was shocked to see that my DHEA levels had dropped 127 points in two weeks. (from 327 to 200)
The nurse stated that she had never seen a drop that drastic before... which worried me obviously.
When the doctor came in, it didnt seem to shock him or worry him quite as much.
"Yes, 327 is high... but that could be for lots of reasons."
Then we talked about possible reasons and what to do from here.
He called varying hormonal results "noise in the system"... meaning that we could take a look at my hormone levels every week and they would always be different. but did state that a 127 point drop was more than "noise in the system."....Which is why we are going to do one more week of blood tests and go from there. I follow up with Dr.Riley  on February 24th and my mom will be in town to go with me since Gavin will be in Arizona playing at ASU for the weekend.
He did suggest that I could have a mild version of PCOS (polysystic ovarian syndrome) which you can read about here.
Ovarian cysts are common and almost always pass on their own.
Dr. Riley was also very attentive and let me ask lots of questions about the PCOS and anything else I was wanting to know more about. Its always refreshing to meet with a doctor that you feel like that actually cares! He did say that he would be surprised if there was a tumor on an adrenal gland because the levels would have stayed high instead of an immense drop. WHAT A RELIEF!! I would have to say that was my biggest worry. With all of that said, I am interested as to what my blood work will look like next week. I promise to keep everyone posted on this as well.
The rest of the weekend was great and I was ready to unwind a little. After my appointment my brother watched Kenley so that Sarah, Kaley and I could go grab a beer and see a movie. We went to BJs so I could get my favorite "BJs Brewhouse Blonde Ale" and then went to see "The Vow." It was the best movie I have seen in a long time. I have been SOOOO dissapointed with recent movies I have seen. Old movies are just so much better and thats actually what The Vow reminded me of!
On Saturday Sarah and I stopped by Gavins alumni game (which Gavin wasnt playing in obviously since he wasnt there haha) but I had to stop by and see everyone real quick and drop off Kenley's Valentines :)
I was especially happy to see Lori Carrico (aka Mama Lori) who is Dustins (my brother husbands) mom! It was weird to have her sitting on the alumni side this year. I am going to miss having her at games this season. She always seems to know how to put a smile on my face and is ALWAYS so encouraging. She has shown us so much support since we have gotten to know her. Gavin and I became very close to Dustin (her son) almost immediately when we moved down here. He was Gavins closest friend on the team and he was always over here. The biggest testimony to the kind of friend Dustin is was the fact that he babysat Kenley the day that he got drafted by the Mets (yes the New York Mets) so that I could get out of the house and go play golf for my birthday. I absolutely love the two of them. I make sure to tell Lori every time I see her how much we love Dustin and what a good job she did raising that kid! And in return... she has for me words of advice, patience and gratitude. I dont know if she realizes the kind of impact she has had on me but I know she reads my blog so maybe now she will know. Thank you Mama Lori. xoxo
The rest of Saturday Sarah and I spent at the mall. I hadnt shopped in forever but had no money so I guess it wasnt really shopping. I should probably just stay out of the mall all together because I just get angry haha! hmmm... I could really use new running shoes..... or these nude wedges.... or....
just stop Jess!! there will always be something you could "use." However I did get a cute $14 shirt that I wore to work on Valentines day :)
Sunday morning we woke up real early again to pick up Gavin from the airport in LA. After we picked him up we visited a very quiet Rodeo drive. I was determined to find some celebrities but all we ended up seeing was the outside of the hotel that Whitney Houston died in on Saturday.... which was pretty cool actually. There were news crews eveywhere.
They were also gearing up for the Grammys over at the Staples Center so it was a busy day for the city of Los Angeles. Still not sure how I feel about that place.
Of course Sarah and I had to watch the Grammys. More like she fell asleep on the couch watching it and I caught bits and pieces while I worked on Valentines cookies for the Kissui babies :)
(Yep, I made the cake batter ones from my previous post! They turned out amazing.)
My favorite part of the Grammys is always the fashion. I love seeing all the dresses. My favorite part of the Grammys THIS year was the fact that my favorite new artist won, well, best new artist!
If you dont know Bon Iver (pronounced Bon EE-VEER) please get to know him! His sleepy sounds and lyrics are a bedtime go-to for Kenley and I right now.

Looking forward to my in-laws being here this weekend. Gavins team is hosting a home series vs BYU so it should be a fun weekend at the ball feild. cant believe season is here already...but so glad it is.

love links

I had to share some quick links on adorable Valentine's Day treats.

THESE kid-friendly treats are a must-do!

And lets be honest.... Im not baking this cake but, boy is it pretty.

I HAVE made these before... and might have to bust out this recipe again... so easy and delicious.

what can I say... I LOVE love....

i love mamas

I stumbled upon this blog tonight.

what a cool mom. we come in all kinds.

february in a flash

I must mean business if I just unplugged my lap top, removed it from my work desk and sat down on the couch. This usually means I am blogging. and for the record... I tried FIVE seperate times to upload the video of Kenley and her "Quiet Book." in my previous post .... my computer obviously had other plans. Ill try and post some pics later.

When talking to a fellow blogger friend yesterday ;) I mentioned that I enjoyed reading her blog so much but totally have neglected my own. Her response was something along the lines of "two jobs and a toddler... blogging is probably the last thing you have time for." I never really think of it this way, since I make time to do other leisurely things but its true... it has not been a priority. Needless to say, everytime I sit down to think about what I should or could blog about lately, my mind goes to one place that I wasnt sure I wanted to share.... but I could use the support and my friends and family are really very good at that.

I guess I debated on making it public knowledge that I have some health concerns going on because
a) I dont know enough about it yet
b) I dont want anyone to worry
c) I havent really liked talking about it

Having said that... let me elaborate.

When we were home for Christmas, I had my IUD removed... for serveral reasons that I wont get into but lets just say that it was not working for me... both physically and emotionally. I ENVY anyone that the Mirena IUD works for... it was so convenient and on paper, basically perfect. However, it drove me insane for 18 months straight and I felt like I had given it a fair chance.

When I had it removed I think I expected immediate relief. Not only did that not happen but my symptoms worsened. I decided to try and find an OB/GYN down here.

Through one of Gavin's teammate's moms (who works for this doctor's office in Loma Linda, fairly close to us) I was able to find a great doctor who has been VERY thorough with me. I discussed my medical history with her in great detail and was able to express some of my concerns. She was attentive and helpful immediately. She ordered several blood tests to check my thyroid and other contributing hormones.

So I have to say I was not surprised when I got a phone call a couple of days later to find out that one of my tests had come back abnormally. I was told to come back and see Dr. Sawyer before she left for vacation later in the week. I ended up coming in the very next day to find out that my levels for the hormone DHEA were high. (normal range being 40-300 and mine was 327).

Terms from Anatomy 101 started swirling in my head... I remembered DHEA but wasnt sure what this could mean. DHEA is a hormone that your adrenal glands produce. The adrenals sit on top of each kidney and when the level of this hormone is as high as mine is, it can mean that there is a tumor on one of the glands.

You can imagine how the room starts to spin and your whole body tenses as the words "adrenal tumor" gets thrown out there. BUT!! it could mean something else, which is why I am seeing an expert on the subject.

Dr. Sawyer reffered me to an Endocrinologist named Dr. Michael Riley in Riverside that I am seeing this Friday. I am very anxious to find out more but have done my best to keep doing everything as normally as possible. I dont want to give myself a reason to worry until I really need one.

One of my best friends Sarah (Kenley's Godmother) is coming down to hang with Kenley on the day of the appointment and be with me while Gavin is gone for the weekend. I hadnt even finished explaining everything to her on the phone before she said she was looking at flights to come down.

Gavin is actually going home this weekend for the written exam portion of the California Fish and Game Academy in Sacramento. The application process takes an entire year and if all goes according to plan, he will be starting the academy to become a "game warden." If you dont know what this is, its very similar to a Sheriff only they enforce hunting and fishing laws. Gavin has really been pursing this and has made it possible to be done with school by then. He is working SO hard.

I believe I mentioned in an earlier post that Gavin would be taking 20 units during baseball season.
Well... we are in the thick of it. I knew it was going to be hard but WOW. Gavin is beyond busy. Kenley and I barely see him and when we do I feel like all I do is ask for help, because frankly, I need it!

As you can tell we have a lot on our plates. Its been important for me to just take things one day at a time and deal with whatever is going on the moment. I have to be honest though... we are so close to being done here and I have never been so close to throwing in the towel. Its been a lot to deal with at once and I could use some help. Im not giving up though and try to keep in mind how worth it this will all be... HOPEFULLY very soon.

AND  on a much lighter note...Im so excited for baseball season to be here. As busy as it makes Gavin, I absolutely love going to his games. This weekend we had the seasoner opener family BBQ. It was so much fun. Its such an awesome team and they all come from amazing families. They all love Kenley and are so cute with her. If you saw the picture of her wearing a pink backpack on instagram, that was given to her Saturday by one of the moms and it was filled with new books, snacks and CANDY :) At the games I tend to get a little bit of a break as everyone passes her around. Although this year they will be CHASING her around.

The weekend before last we spent in Balboa (right by Huntington Beach) with my friend of 20 years Caitlin and her boyfriend. I shouldnt say we spent the weekend because really it was just late Saturday evening that we got in and had to leave sunday morning (which was not long enough at ALL) so Gavin could get to baseball and work. Right when we got there Caitlin and Alex had a delicious dinner prepared and then we took a 75 cent ferry ride to Balboa Island where we got what is called a "Balboa Bar".... basically deliciousness on a stick. Caitlin and I woke up a FIVE the next morning to take a run on the beach. I really cant think of anything more relaxing. We then got ready and Cait did a morning family beach shoot of us before we took off. For Christmas Caitlin gave me a certificate that said she would FRAME a family portrait of us... which is so so so generous of her. I cant wait to see it because the pictures turned out awesome. She is so unbelievably talented and I love showing off her work.

As for the little lady in the middle of the picture... I dont know what to say. She could probably tell you how she is doing herself! She is talking up a storm. I can pretty much get her to repeat anything but the words she comes up with on her own are the best. A personal favorite right now is "Oh boy!"

She is pooping on the toilet twice a day but is still wearing a diaper a night while we get the pee situation down. Yes, I know its early but this is not anything we forced. Cloth diapered babies almost always potty train quicker because of the fact that they have always felt when they are wet. She tells us "poo poo!!" and off to her little potty we go.

She is still a trooper on days I bring her to work and I love having her there.

I know everyone says they grow up fast but I swear Kenley is defying the aging process. I blink and she has a new word, a new idea, a new dance. I love her creativity and bottle up a little for myself every night as I rock her to sleep.

Things Im looking forward to: Sarah this weekend, Gavins family the next weekend and spending the weekend in San Diego with my family the following weekend while Gavin is in Arizona.

Well... maybe if I blogged more, my posts wouldnt be mistaken for epic novels.

I will do my best to keep everyone posted on... well... everything!

Jess

hand-made with love

I dont know about you, but I definitely had a "quiet book" when I was little... but mine was no where near this cool. I hadnt even thought about mine in years until I saw one on PINTEREST about a month ago. If you dont know what one is you are about to see! The pages of a quiet book are usually made from felt or any other soft material, great for times when you need to keep baby occupied and well... quiet. It's main purpose is for during church but since Kenley has been going to the nursery during chruch (and having lots of fun there) we have had a great time with this amazing gift at home.
Gavin's Aunt Sue is a brilliat seamstress and came up with most of the pages off the top of her head. The first time I looked through it, I was floored. Its perfect. Check it out...

I love that most of the gifts that we gave AND recieved this year were hand made... and this year I gave myself enough time that they didnt have to be thrown together at the last second. I really impressed myself with some of the stuff I came up with! I made several cake plates, ornaments, did lots of mason jar projects, worked with some old wood and some cool vintage finds... and by the end of christmas had a good layer of mod podge, paint and sparkles on EVERYTHING...

When we were shopping around for everyone I couldnt help but notice the complete peices of junk that places like Target, Babies R Us, Wal Mart etc. try to pass off as childrens toys... Literal painted pieces of plastic that they mark up 300% and pretend that you MUST have. Lucky for Kenley, she knows some very crafty, talented people! Her Grandma Patty is finishing up a very special DOLL as we speak. (I will do a later post about baby "June" when she arrives).

Chrsitmas with her this year was SO much fun. I loved watching her open her own gifts and actually get EXCITED when she saw what it was. We had so much fun at home (even though we literally drove from Napa to Cloverdale and visa-versa FOUR times)... It was worth every mile though. We got to spend lots of quality time with both families.

It is so good to be back down here though. All of the tons laundry is finally put away, we are all unpacked and ready for an extremly busy quarter. Gavin is taking 20 ( yes TWENTYYYYY) units on top of baseball season and P/T work at the golf course... while I continuing working both jobs. Call us crazy... I know I do!